Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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