So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have post one night stand depression
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
