i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
