I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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