watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You dont lie about slip and slides
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
