Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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