so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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