Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize