I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Barsexuality is the new black.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
