you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize