oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
