I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
