is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
