idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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