Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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