I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize