After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
