DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
