Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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