First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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