my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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