I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
