Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
