Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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