Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
