i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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