And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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