you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
