Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
