You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize