Cold hands, warm shart.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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