she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
nutella sex= disaster
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize