But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
