what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
