she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
