I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
