Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize