dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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