Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
