Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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