Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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