There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize