She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just gargled with NyQuil
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
