I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
