i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
