didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
