I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize