Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
