you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm too high and old for this...
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