Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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