Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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