so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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