The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
