mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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