I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
