Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
