I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
