Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
