I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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