Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
