its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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