so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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