i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
