i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just cut my nipple shaving
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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