if i can run in heels then i can drive
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
