i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
