Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
