Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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