i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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