Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I could fuck to npr.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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